Gender + journey = gerney [pronounced: journey]
As a non-binary trans person, I am constantly thinking about gender and what gender means. In the film Ma Vie En Rose, the film got me thinking about what gender means since in the film a lot of the adults are clearly conflating gender and sexuality. In the film, Ludo is a girl and people do not believe her, and wrongfully think that she’s a boy and misgender her all the time. The conflation of gender and sexuality is something that I am very aware of and have been thinking about pretty frequently since I have been studying gender nihilism. Gender nihilism can be vaguely summarized as the commitment to dismantling gender as a construct in order to dismantle systems of gender oppression, by denying/negating gender, and thus gender essentialism, as existing at the core of all humans.
Gender is an incredibly complex subject and as a genderqueer person, I am constantly confused by it as a construct. The ways people are socialized to internalize gender norms at a very young age is so bizarre and normalized to me. In the film, they demonstrate the ways in which traditional gender norms are affirmed both by Ludo’s peers and the adults surrounding her– including her therapist. The process of her parents seeking to support her results in being coercive and harmful because they want her to be a boy.
Adults who bear children in the US become infatuated with the prescribed gender of their child at birth and then fall in love with the idea of the ways this child should behave because of their prescribed gender. Gender to me is a circular process that consistently affirms itself. People who can perform their gender effectively in a way that is believable and thought to be pure are revered in our society for doing so. Those who struggle to do so, or exhibit any gender variance are pressured to conform sometimes violently. An example of this is the times Ludo has been yelled at by her parents and when they cut her hair short against her wishes.
I believe that power directly informs gender and works to affirm the patriarchy. The aforementioned can be seen in the film. Ludo seems to be really clear about her gender identity and it seems that the only people who are confused about her gender are the adults. The adults that surround her life, except for her grandmother, are imposing their understanding of gender on their daughter by refusing to listen to her and by viewing her not as who she is but as who people want her to be. I think that’s messed up.
It has been said that children are the most oppressed in our society and in some ways that’s true; they simply do not have the same rights that adults do (it could be argued that this is for the better but the fact remains). Thus they are in particular danger since they do not have full bodily autonomy. If we lived in a society that was not so ageist and treated children respectfully like they are full human beings we would learn a great deal about living an honest life. I think Ludo’s family should have taken Ludo’s lead on her gender journey and supported her in that instead of trying to manipulate her into being a boy.
The process in which gender is enforced is violent and its function affirms systemic violence (strict gender norms affirm the patriarchy). Even though I don’t fully believe in or understand gender fully; I think the ways we do it needs to change because in our society most people have a toxic relationship with gender. This definitely can be seen in this film.